I’m not for sure I understand the concepts of economics and business. I don’t think very rationally about these, and to be sure, I have never properly studied them. That being said, I’m glad that I haven’t because if I had, I probably wouldn’t have the same disdain for their continued existence in society. I’m constantly confused at the process of economics and how rational people continue to make irrational decisions that in some way affect so many of us around the world.
Lately, I have also been considering the fact that once we find a lover for our lives, once we discover the passion between two human beings, we then have to spend a majority of our time each day away from that person. We have to leave them only to be thought about, text messages, emailed – why is that? Why is it that society, or ourselves, dictate these divisions between our lives of work and our lives of domesticity? Should they be separate? For many people, they must because of the nature of their work, but for some, it is only a result of a social situation – work to live or live to work? Our choice I suppose.

Everyday that I am here I feel unaccomplished, burdened by the thoughts of a job, work, labor and all for a person that I have no connection to. I work for their benefit it seems – yes I need to pay my bills, buy food and afford my rent. But also, I need to feel like a real person, a living person and accomplish things for myself. When you spend eight or more hours a day doing things for other people, then what is the point and when do you have time to enjoy the things you like to do? All questions I keep asking, V and I keep talking about. How do we manage this crisis of employment while at the same time continue to do the things that we love? Being together, cooking, taking pictures, eating, traveling and writing? They are romantic ideas, yes, they are dream jobs for many – but we have been good so far at pursuing and surpassing our dreams, so why stop here?

We have to ask ourselves, where are we headed? What do we not want to do – which is often times, an easier question to answer than the opposite. Do we want to work for others, to promote their ideas and passions? Or do we want to work for ourselves, promoting our ideas and passions via our creative, educational and intelligence? Why is it so hard now to find employers that will not only share in your interests, but help you achieve your personal goals along side their own business goals? Who is supporting all of us creative people that long for jobs where we don’t feel belittled, berated and cheated just for being educated, smart and thoughtful about the work we are doing?

My thoughts generate around two main concepts I suppose and one is the decrease of capitalism in society, which will most likely never happen. The other is idealism in my profession (1 job or 10 jobs, I will look for the same things in each). So if capitalism is sticking around, and those making irrational decisions for the majority of us continue to do so, I will seek, with all my energy, the second concept: the search for idealism in my profession. Joining me in this will be V. because we share our lives now – we talk – we listen and we look to the future with eyes as big as the moon and too many dreams to quantify.